Breaking the Taboo: Fertility, Family Planning, and My Journey to Success

Let's talk about a topic that's been kept in the shadows for far too long - fertility and family planning. As women, we face the challenge of balancing our desire to have children with the demands of our careers. It's about time we shed light on the struggles and triumphs that many women and families face while trying to expand their families. I would also like to recognize that this post comes from my experience and my desire to have a family. Many women choose not to have children and that experience and decision should be respected without caveats of ‘one day you’ll change your mind’ or ‘once you settle down you’ll want children.’ Whether women want children or not, their choice should be respected as final.

I, Beth Borody, the Founder of Femina Collective, want to share my personal experience with fertility and career growth over the past five years. My goal is to raise awareness and amplify the voices of women who are going through the same challenges.

Eight years ago, I found myself seven months pregnant with my son, despite being told that I would never conceive naturally. He brought immense joy to my life, a happy and healthy child. Six years ago, however, I experienced the heartbreak of an ectopic pregnancy that led to an emergency surgery due to internal bleeding. The road to growing my family wasn't easy.

Five and a half years ago, my husband and I stepped into our first fertility clinic with high hopes. Given that I had already had a child, the doctors assured us that our case would be a breeze. Little did we know the rollercoaster ride that awaited us. At the same time, I was diving into the mining sector, embarking on a new chapter in my career.

Despite the significant impact fertility had on my life, I chose to keep it hidden from my professional circle. I didn't feel the need to share my struggles openly. Battling fertility issues takes its toll on every aspect of a woman's life - the uncertain timelines, endless procedures, emotional pain, constant appointments, and difficult medications.

As my career soared and I climbed the ladder, I realized the increasing need to conceal my fertility journey and desire for a larger family. I witnessed women going on maternity leave, only to have their roles reassigned (albeit informally) to others. I heard the audible sighs from men (and women) in the room whenever another woman announced her pregnancy. Hiring decisions were made based on the likelihood of a woman getting pregnant. It was clear that I needed to keep it a secret, adding an incredible amount of stress to an already overwhelming journey. Fertility became a full-time job that often clashed with the travel expectations of my professional role.

For 18 long months, we put our fertility plans on hold so that I could focus on my career. Juggling both seemed impossible, especially with my constant travel commitments. I wanted to focus on my career and I wanted to grow my career. I knew I wouldn't be able to attend appointments, keep medications safe, or inject myself while constantly being on the road. And for a period of time, that was ok for me. It wasn't until the COVID-19 pandemic hit, allowing remote work and restricted travel, that I saw an opportunity to reignite my fertility journey.

Over the past two and a half years, I've faced numerous challenges while simultaneously progressing in my career and pursuing fertility treatment. Failed IUIs led us down the path of IVF. I underwent an egg retrieval, two polyp removal surgeries, and two frozen embryo transfers. Finally, in April of this year, my perseverance paid off - I became pregnant.

The hormone injections took a toll on my body, making me forget what it felt like to be normal. Yet, every day, I showed up at work, pretending nothing else was going on, fully focused on my job. I had an egg retrieval one day and was on a plane the next, supporting a board meeting. I underwent a polyp removal surgery, only to hop on a flight the following day for an investor tour. I discreetly slipped out of dinners and meetings to administer injections on time. And let's not forget the early wake-up calls for fertility appointments, making sure I never missed a workday. It was overwhelming, and it shouldn't have been something I had to hide.

Eventually, I mustered the courage to confide in another executive about my need for a break from travelling because we were embarking on an embryo transfer. I explained my situation, with the caveat that if our embryo transfer was successful, I would only take the bare minimum of maternity leave. Their response was immediate - they mentioned someone in their network who could replace me and asked if two weeks without travel would be sufficient. I took what I could get and knew that I would have to work even harder to prove that pregnancy wouldn't negatively impact my performance. That transfer protocol ended up being cancelled due to another polyp and instead of a transfer I went into 2023 with another surgery.

2023 has come with many surprises both positive and negative. Our surgery was followed by new protocols, new medications and four long months, with multiple transfer attempts, before our success in April 2023.

Today, I am five months pregnant with my second child. While I continue to support companies and organizations that I love, I'm also taking the time to prepare for my new baby and allow myself to rest and recharge. I share my story because fertility issues affect 1 in 4 women in Canada, yet it remains a topic shrouded in silence, particularly in our industry. We should feel proud of what our bodies can do and accomplish, both in building families and excelling in our careers. Pregnancy and family planning are natural and are not a hindrance. Supporting women and men going through fertility journeys should be a priority. There are many of us facing these challenges, and being able to speak about them will normalize them and help make a safer place for families in our industry.